My Brain’s a Spreadsheet, But Life’s a Messy First Draft: Taming Uncertainty When You’re a Planner
My Brain’s a Spreadsheet, But Life’s a Messy First Draft: Taming Uncertainty When You’re a Planner
Raise your hand if you have color-coded calendars, to-do lists for your to-do lists, and a five-year plan that includes what kind of houseplant you’ll buy in 2027. 🙋♀️ Yep, that’s me. I’m a planner. I thrive on order, predictability, and knowing what’s coming next.
But here’s the kicker: life throws curveballs like it’s playing in the major leagues. And for someone whose brain operates like a well-organized spreadsheet, uncertainty feels like nails on a chalkboard.
The Uncertainty Struggle is Real
Remember that time you meticulously planned a weekend getaway, booked the perfect Airbnb, and mapped out every scenic hike, only to have a surprise blizzard derail the entire trip? (True story. I may or may not have shed a tear over the gourmet snacks I’d packed.)
Or how about that job interview you prepped for like it was the final exam for a Nobel Prize, only to have the company restructure and cancel the position altogether? (Also a true story. My meticulously crafted “tell me about your weaknesses” answer never even saw the light of day.)
These are just a few examples of how uncertainty can throw a wrench into our carefully laid plans. And for us planners, it can trigger a whole symphony of stress: anxiety, frustration, even a sense of loss. If you’re struggling with anxiety or feeling overwhelmed by uncertainty, consider reaching out to a therapist. At Stride Forward Counseling (www.strideforwardcounseling.com), we can help you develop coping strategies and find healthy ways to navigate life’s challenges.
So, How Do We Cope?
Here are a few strategies I’ve learned (and am still learning!) to navigate the choppy waters of uncertainty:
1. Embrace the “ish.” Instead of rigid deadlines, I’ve started adding “ish” to my plans. Dinner at 7 pm? More like 7 pm-ish. This allows for flexibility and takes the pressure off when things inevitably shift.
2. Build in Buffer Zones. Whether it’s extra time between appointments or a “just in case” fund in my budget, having those buffer zones creates a sense of safety and room to maneuver when the unexpected pops up.
3. Focus on What You Can Control. When faced with a situation riddled with uncertainty (hello, global pandemic!), I shift my attention to the things I can control. I can’t control whether my flight gets canceled, but I can control packing my carry-on with essentials and having a backup plan.
4. Practice Mindfulness. This one’s a work in progress, but even a few minutes of mindful breathing or meditation can help me stay grounded in the present moment instead of spiraling into “what if” scenarios. Need help getting started with mindfulness? Therapy can provide guidance and support. Visit Stride Forward Counseling (www.strideforwardcounseling.com) to learn more.
5. Remember the Upside of Uncertainty. Sometimes, the unplanned detours lead to the most amazing adventures. That canceled weekend trip? It led to a spontaneous staycation where I discovered the cutest little bookstore and had the best brunch of my life.
Uncertainty is a part of life, just like that one sock that always goes missing in the laundry. But by learning to embrace the unexpected, we planners can not only survive but thrive in the face of the unknown. If you find that uncertainty is impacting your mental health or well-being, don’t hesitate to seek support.